Help – My Toddler Won’t Eat Anything! How to Handle Picky Eating

“No, I don’t want to eat it!” How often have you heard that from your child at dinner time? You’ve spent all this time getting dinner ready full of foods that are good for your toddler, and now they refuse to even take a bite. Dinner is left untouched, you and your child are battling for control, and no one is happy. The good news? You’re not alone in this struggle.

As a team of pediatric therapists, we’ve had countless parents at their wit’s end come to us when their toddler won’t eat ; that’s why we’re starting an official feeding program. Our occupational therapists are trained and ready to help your child with any feeding issues they may have and answer any questions you may have like:

• What’s the difference between picky eating and feeding issues?
• What can cause a child to not want to eat?
• What should I do when my child won’t eat?
• When should I be concerned about picky eating?
• How can occupational therapists help?

In this guide, we’ll break down everything you could want to know about picky eating in children and show you tips from our feeding program that you can apply for your child. Let’s get started.

What’s the Difference Between Picky Eating and Feeding Issues?

It can be nerve-wracking when your child starts refusing to eat certain foods, but this is actually a normal part of their development. The older they get, the more they will want to assert their autonomy. This can start as early as two years old, causing children to refuse to eat simply because they can. They are testing the limits of their independence. Not to mention that toddlers’ taste buds are constantly developing, so it’s not uncommon for their food preferences to change in a seemingly short amount of time. While picky eating might be annoying to some parents, it generally shouldn’t affect your child’s health and with proper encouragement your child will grow out of it. However, there are other more serious reasons why a toddler won’t eat than just picky eating.

It’s normal for parents to be concerned about a child not eating. Generally speaking, if your pediatrician isn’t worried about your child’s weight, that’s a good sign. However, sometimes feeding issues can go beyond picky eating and put a child’s health at risk. For example, some children may be diagnosed with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (AFRID) if they experience the following symptoms:

• Avoid foods based on sensory issues
• Refuse to eat due to lack of interest
• Overwhelming fear of choking on food
• Failure to maintain a healthy weight

This is more than just picking eating where a child may prefer to only eat a few choice meals; AFRID has a significant impact on a child’s ability to eat anything and their overall health. For example, a picky eater might spit out their green beans because they don’t like the taste. A child with AFRID on the other hand might gag or choke on the green bean or have a total meltdown before they even sit down at dinner no matter what you are serving. If your child is exhibiting any of these symptoms, it may be time to contact an occupational therapist to understand what is going on and help your child through their food aversions.

What Can Cause a Child to Not Want to Eat?

If your toddler won’t eat anything, there’s a bigger issue at play than just picky eating. There is always a reason behind your child’s behavior, it just may take some time or professional help to uncover it. Generally speaking, there are a few common reasons why a toddler won’t eat, such as:

• Sensory sensitivities: For some children, certain textures, smells, and temperatures can be incredibly unpleasant, causing them to avoid foods that make their mouth feel uncomfortable.
• Oral motor challenges: Every child develops at a different pace, and some children may be delayed in learning how to chew and swallow effectively. If these actions are difficult, it’s no wonder they avoid eating.
• Past negative experiences: Even toddlers can have negative experiences that shape the way they act, even if they can’t communicate it to you. If your child choked on food, had reflux, or was force fed, they may be afraid of consuming certain foods or eating in general.
• Medical or underlying conditions: Sometimes, a toddler won’t eat because it leads to discomfort or even pain. This is often a sign of an undiagnosed allergy or GI issue. However, this could also indicate other medical issues such as the flu or a stomach bug that makes eating for that week difficult.

It’s important to understand all the possible reasons that could cause your toddler to not want to eat so you can be better equipped to respond. Your child won’t always be able to tell you why they don’t want to eat and why. It’s up to you to observe their behaviors and discover the reasoning so you can start helping them through it.

What Should I Do When My Child Won’t Eat?

Whether your toddler won’t eat vegetables, meat, or anything at all, just know that all hope is not lost. Try the following steps to help your child try new foods, eat more, and improve their overall health:

Step 1: Take the Pressure Off

Let’s be honest, when your toddler won’t eat, everyone in your household is affected by the stress this causes. You just want your child to eat their dinner, so they get the nutrients they need, but your little one doesn’t seem to care about that. Take a deep breath and relax. Your child is less likely to eat or try new foods in a stressful environment. Make mealtimes relaxing or even fun by:

• Talking about their favorite topics like books they like, a trip they’re excited for, or what they’re most looking forward to that weekend.
• Involving them in meal prep. Have them help measure ingredients or wash vegetables to engage them and make them excited to try the food they helped prepare.
• Arranging the food on your child’s plate into fun shapes, silly faces, or simple patterns and ask them what they see.

Then, encourage your child to eat their dinner or try new foods without forcing them to do so. Forcing children under six years old to sit at the table until they finish their meal can actually backfire. Younger children already don’t eat that much and have a lot of energy they need to get out, so making them stay at the dinner table can lead to a chaotic evening. Children may whine throughout the rest of the meal, try to leave anyway, or even throw a tantrum in protest to have to sit still, making their experience with food even more stressful.

Step 2: Combine “Safe Food” with New Food

If you’re trying to get your child to try new food and they are resisting, don’t give up. According to the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, it can take 8 – 15 times exposing a child to a new food to get them to accept the meal. If your child is particularly resistant, try pairing it with a dish they already like. Start this process by integrating new foods that are similar to ones your child already likes. For example, if they enjoy French fries, start by giving them tater tots, then a baked potato, and then mashed potatoes. Helping a child with food sensitivities is a process, so it’s okay if your little one takes some time to warm up to the idea of new foods. But when they are paired with foods they already like, the process can go a little bit smoother.

Step 3: Have Your Child Help You Cook

Children can be especially wary of the unknown, so it’s understandable why they might be resistant to a strange looking meal they’ve never seen before. To help reduce this anxiety, take your child to the grocery store to pick out food for meals and include them in the preparation. This gives your child a chance to see where the food comes from and how it’s made, alleviating some of that fear of the unknown. In fact, children may even become excited to try something new if they are involved in picking it out or preparing it. This is because they get a sense of accomplishment from creating their meals, leading to a positive experience around their meals.

Step 4: Create a Mealtime Routine

Children thrive when they know what’s going to happen next. Even if you’re trying new foods at dinnertime, make the experience consistent in your household. For example, have dinner at the same place every night, wash your hands beforehand, set the table together, and talk about your days to make meals a predictable activity. This takes one more fear out of dinnertime, putting your child more at ease and receptive to trying something new.

Step 5: Model Healthy Eating

Toddlers are constantly trying to copy their parents, so why not use this to your advantage? Try new foods in front of your child or even foods you haven’t liked in the past but want to give another chance. This shows your child that you aren’t just telling them to do something, but actually do the recommended behavior yourself. What you eat in front of your child also matters. They may be more likely to try a bit of what you’re having, or they may see that you like the new food they are wary of. Either way, modeling positive eating habits can greatly help children overcome their picky eating.

When Should I Be Concerned About Picky Eating?

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your toddler will still refuse to eat. They could grow out of it, or they could continue having feeding issues. If you’re not sure when to be concerned about a child not eating, watch out for these red flags that require immediate professional intervention:

• Weight issues
• Persistent gagging or choking regardless of food
• Extreme food restriction (a 2-3 year old eating less than 20 foods or older kids eating less than 30)
• Avoiding meals entirely

The sooner you intervene when feeding issues arise, the better chance you have at preventing long term difficulties. But what do you do when you run out of ideas to help your child? You’ve already been trying to feed them lots of different foods, but it isn’t working. That’s when it’s time to turn to a professional occupational therapist.

How Can Occupational Therapists Help?

If your toddler won’t eat anything, it can be scary and overwhelming. It’s important to keep in mind though that these types of feeding issues aren’t usually about behavior, but about skills your child hasn’t learned yet. Occupational therapists can help. They are trained to understand how children eat, chew, swallow, and respond to different foods. Occupational therapy feeding often focuses on three main areas: oral motor skills, sensory processing, and building comfort and confidence. Instead of forcing a child to eat, occupational therapy helps them overcome sensory issues, delayed motor skills, and fear of new foods.

But what exactly happens in occupational therapy feeding programs? Typically, children will:

Build Trust with Both Food and the Therapist

Before any real progress can be made with a toddler who won’t eat, occupational therapists need to gain the child’s trust. After all, if the child feels unsafe, they certainly aren’t going to engage in feeding activities that they already struggle with. Parents and caregivers are encouraged to attend therapy sessions with their child to show them that they are in a safe place and help them feel more comfortable. Then, the therapist may use play-based activities to help the child relax and get used to the new environment. Most importantly, occupational therapists will never force children to interact with food if they aren’t ready. This can actually stress the child out even more and delay progress. Instead, therapists will focus on gentle exposure and encourage the child to take small steps toward interacting with food.

Increase Sensory Acceptance of Food

When certain textures, smells, sounds, looks, or taste distress your child, it can be difficult to get them to eat foods that attack their senses. Occupational therapy can help by slowly introducing children to different sensory stimuli and determining what it is that upsets the patient. Do they have difficulty chewing tough foods? Or do they feel like soft food gets stuck in their throat? Once the therapist knows what the underlying problem is, they can take steps to address it and help children explore food safely.

Develop Fine Motor Skills Needed to Feed Themselves

Sometimes, children struggle to get food from their plates into their mouths. This can cause a great deal of frustration and cause your child to avoid eating altogether. Occupational therapists help children develop the fine motor skills to pick up food, use silverware, and move the food into their mouths. This often includes the therapist modeling the desired behavior to children as well as doing exercises to build their fine motor skills.

Practice Chewing with Safe, Guided Support

Getting the food into your child’s mouth isn’t always the problem. Instead, children can struggle to chew properly. When this happens, a child has difficulty swallowing and could even gag or choke. It’s not uncommon for children to avoid food that has caused these uncomfortable sensations, but it’s still important for them to learn how to chew correctly. Occupational therapists will use exercises like blowing bubbles and eating safe foods to help a child strengthen their tongue, lips, and jaw so chewing becomes easier. Therapists may also work with the child to change their posture while eating, as this could hinder their ability to chew and swallow some foods.

Collaborate with Parents and Caregivers

Parents are also a key part of this process. You will learn simple ways to support your child at home so progress can continue even after the session is done. The goal isn’t just to get your child to eat new food, it’s to help your child feel safe, confident, and capable at mealtimes.

Overcome Picky Eating with Our Feeding Program

If your toddler won’t eat dinner, refuses vegetables, or avoids entire food groups altogether, you are not alone. Many families face this every day, and many families need the support of occupational therapy feeding programs. That’s why we offer a feeding program that gets to the reasoning behind your child’s picky eating and creates a personalized plan to help your family. All of our occupational therapists are licensed in the AEIOU (Acceptance, Exposure, Independence, Observation, and Understanding) framework to provide a personalized approach to child feeding. Schedule an evaluation today to get started understanding why your toddler won’t eat and set them on the path to improving their eating habits.

Occupational Feeding Program FAQs